Cambodia

It started with the seasonal flight from Phnom Penh to Pakse where we (my wife and I) found out quickly that Lao Airlines has great service but older than dirt airplanes. A quick turn of the propeller later we were going through customs at Pakse International Airport. Of course we did not bring proper photography so my half Lao wife (Junlah) turned up the charm with words in Lao that I could not decipher. A few smiles later along with a trip by one of the guards out in the hall to get an address from Junlahs aunt and like magic our passports were stamped and we were in the bed of a truck driving north to Salavan.As we pulled up to Junlah’s aunt’s house the lights were on and people were stirring, mostly for the preparation of the following day but some came to see our arrival and greet us. It’s not everyday in this neck of the woods a white face appears to celebrate marriage. Junlah conversed, attempted to translate for me, we had a few beers, I showed off some pictures of family in the states, we gave gifts bought in Cambodia and then politely went off into the one private room in the house to get some rest.Clunk, crack, clunk, crack, clunk clunk……….. I took a look at my watch as I pressed the light button illuminating the neon green clock face. 3:06 a.m, what could possible be going on this early was the first thought that ran trough my head. Non-stop clunking and cracking occasionally mixing with a laugh kept me awake so naturally I decided to just get up, besides I had to use the bathroom. I walk out and through another doorway that takes me to the back end of the house where I stumble into the slaughterhouse or as most people call it the kitchen. Through the dimly lit blinking florescent light I walk around several men trying not to step in the pools of red or accidentally lose a toe in the chop. I step up into the bathroom, handle bizness, and upon opening the bathroom door into the kitchen am greeted with a glass of ice with beer in it. I held back a yawn and politely said “coup jai” (thank you). I soon realized that my confused tired face was stuck there with the guys getting an early start on wedding festivities.A few large “Beer Lao” bottles later and 3 slaughtered cows brought sunrise. People from all over started to arrive. Women took to the kitchen or helped decorate while most of the men took a seat at one of the tables outside to eat and drink. I quickly discovered my novelty as I was called over to each of the tables to drink with them and share sticky rice with the freshest of unrecognizable meat. Time kept going and decorations were being put together. Several older women began working on the Pah Kwan (which I believe is the proper name). A Pah Kwan kind of looks like a small Christmas tree that has been constructed by hand with the addition of flowers and the all-important strands of string. The Pah Kwan is an essential item in a Baci ceremony, which takes place at any “special event” and consists of many different elements. One of my favorites, is the tying of strings around wrists.Lets face it, I hardly had time to be distracted with preparations as I quickly got called for yet another warm beer on ice. More and more “family” (a term not exactly coinsiding with the definition in western culture) came in plain traditional outfit. The Bride and Groom both got dressed and applied make-up with the help of the Bride’s mother. The decorations and preparations were finalized with, of course, the addition of some greenbacks to the Pah Kwan. It was at this moment that I could step away from drinking and focus on the ceremony about to take place.The elder men separate into a group of two, one representing the Bride the other representing the Groom. Money and alcohol are mostly discussed and/or consumed until the Groom’s side hands over a wad of cash to the Bride’s parents followed with more drinks.The groom then must walk several meters down the road with his entourage. As soon as he starts stepping, the Bride’s well-wishers start setting up blockades and simulated booby-traps. It wasn’t long before an obstacle course was set up and the groom had to turn back and navigate through it. Taking steps over these palm tree traps the Groom encountered trap setters and had to prove his motivation to get to his soon to be wife. In some cases this involved slipping the human blockade an envelope or proving he could handle his liquor by downing a shot. With every test he got closer until he was let into the house where the ceremony would take place.Once inside he sat next to his Bride who was waiting anxiously by the Pah Kwan. Everyone else sat on the floor mats forming rings around them extending to the outer parts of the house, men on one side women on the other.The wedding ceremony was now set to begin. The Bride and Groom sat next to each other on pillows surrounded immediately by all the important village elders and older family members. Elders said many things, hands were extended, at one point the Bride and Groom were completely covered in a white sheet seemingly binding them together. There was chanting, gift giving, and then finally came the familiar string tying. It started with the important figures having first dibs, pulling a thicker string from the Pah Kwan the Bride or Groom raised their left hand, palm opened towards their face, while bowing their head and extending their right hand out to have the string tied around their wrist. The person tying says a blessing or wish and in this case folds over a dollar or 20 baht note and hangs it around the string. This goes on and gets extended for everyone to join in, not just tying strings around the Bride and Groom’s wrist but around each others.The ceremony is concluded by the Bride and Groom being led, literally by a string of gold, to the Bride’s bedroom where a meal has been prepared. As the Bride and Groom share their first meal behind closed doors, the blessing with strings continues for quite some time between guests until more food is served. It is important to note that in Lao the word for eat can also be used for drink. Stomachs are filled then everyone heads off for an outfit change.This is where everyone puts aside the plain traditional cloth and goes “red carpet” all the way. Everyone including the newlyweds get all dressed up to the T’s. Food’s put out on tables under tarps, the stage has been set up for the band, and the sun sets, marking the soon-arrival of guests. Just like in Khmer weddings the Bride and Groom’s family line up outside and greet people coming in. Most who enter opt for the shot of mystery liquor and then proceed to a table to eat. After an hour or so everyone’s arrived except for the very fashionably late. The Bride and Groom go table-to-table providing shots to their guest before the music gets rocking. With every new song, names are called off for family to come up and dance.Lao dancing consists of an inner circle of men and an outer circle of women. You step side to side, elbows extended, wrists twirling, and fingers straight and stretched remembering of course to completely ignore your dance partner. Between dances an endless flow of beer is provided with the occasional whiskey appearing on select tables.I had been involved in nearly every step of this process as a “newer” family member and the drinking part had definitely gotten the best of me. So as the party continued into the wee hours of the night I quietly slipped away into the bedroom to catch some ZZ’s and hear/feel the bass from a distance.The next morning we woke up and helped with clean up before heading out to a different Aunt’s village to keep the balance of staying an equal amount at each family member’s residence.

Part 1Wow, where to start exactly…..It’s by far the largest, biggest, almost most well designed (sorry Singapore beats it out for design), cleanest, and also the most difficult (well my experience is not plentiful) but very very difficult so far– Embassy-Yes the United States of Amercia’s Embassy right here in Phnom Penh.Lets start this story with the fact that I am now faced with getting into the U.S Embassy or not going to Laos for Junlahs cousins wedding.Why?I have to get into the Embassy because I need to get more pages put into my passport the most recent addition of Vietnams visa took up the very last page of the passport leaving my passport completely full. Most if not all foreign countries won’t allow you a visa unless you have more than one page blank and some even require you to have multiple pages blank.So we are leaving for Laos on friday and after some internet research I found out that you can add additional pages at the Embassy.So here is where I am at-I’m at a bar after showing up at the embassy only to find out that I needed to come back at 2:00— because that’s the time when they start that particular service. But to get to this point was somewhat comical-First of all the United States Embassy I believe is the only place in Cambodia to have an automated phone service. My mouth dropped after hearing the generic voice on the other end of the phone– It was a thing of near laughter and frustration because of course nothing met my criteria for why I was calling.Plus just the thought of an automated service was ridiculous given the cambodian public wouldn’t even know where to start. So part of my mind wondered if this was set up just to frustrate and discourage in the first place-After trying to get through to a person I gave up and decided to drive over-I get to the gate and take my position at the end of a long line.. after a wait, a wait, and some more wait in the hot cambodian sun.. I was quickly turned around and sent away– told that I need to come back from 2-4 for that type of service-Also i guess my frustration really isn’t coming out in this email given the fact that now I am in an internet free bar with a beer, fried eggs and hash browns, in the air conditioning.well I’l save those for part 2–unless everything from here on out goes smoothly-Part 2- US EmbassyI head back to the US embassy- I park my bike- I see that there is a line formed from the gate. I take off my helmet and wait at the end of the line. The sun beats down on me- beeds of sweat have now caused my shirt to dampen starting to seep through the cloth.I reach the door after a long wait- I can feel the air conditioning leaking out- yes- yes- yes- relief is near-I step inside the 12 inch think glass and steel door after a very close examination of my passport- at this point this is where I feel at home– well at home if I am in an airport traveling home- before I pass through security- I do the usually emptying of my pockets and possessions into the bin before I pass through the metal detector. BUT WAIT– one second– out of the bin of my possessions the guard pulls out my cell phone- this is were my now some what cooly relieved stomach sank-I’m told that my cell phone will not be allowed in- that no electronics are and I have no option for what I can do with my phone- my phone must leave the building- given that I was alone and did not have an entourage of people waiting for me across the street from the gate like most, I didn’t have the option of passing my phone for someone to hold- and not wanting to throw away my phone (not that I could of used there garbage) I had to leave.So i quickly un-park my bike and head home. Driving a little faster than typically. This gave me just enough time to build up a good helmet sweat before I could return to the embassy and hop right back at the end of the now longer line. So as I stand again against the gate in a single file line knowing the refreshens of the air-conditioning inside using my helmet to block the sun- the only word to really come to mind that would accurately describe my emotion would be “pissed off” (2 words big deal) - well maybe HOT would be a more accurate word- for both emotional feeling and physical.So this time when I reached the front of the line flashing my passport was a breeze they let me right into the nice cool air- and I easily passed through security round one and then security round two in the next building.After I got inside the main building - which took a little figuring out– basically that I just needed to pull the extremely think/bulky/secure door a little bit harder to get it to open. I thought to myself okay so where do I go next- I enter a room with little glass booths, a number a top each booth but no signs or seemingly any rhyme or reason as to which booth if any I needed to go to. So I ask and am told to go to counter number 1. The guy behind the thick glass at that counter tells me to go to counter number 7. I go to counter number 7- wait for a few people in front of me then I explain what I need. I am handed an application to fill out. I fill it out and wait behind a few people again then hand it under the glass with my passport. The guy sides me a piece of paper with number 426 on it and instructs me to have a seat and wait until my number is called. So I turn quickly and take a seat right near counter number 6-Now I could take this story and turn it into how I waited in the chair for my number to be called and waited and waited and waited. But that would just be me complaining and not the truly interesting part.Counter number 6-Counter number 6 at the US embassy is the counter in which U.S citizens walk up to with the expectation that they will get their newly married, not an american citizen, significant other a pass into the United States. At some point in explaining their case for a proper marriage in which in no way are they just marring for citizenship but for love of the spouse or more appropriately the soon to be applicant- they find them-self raising their right hand to repeat and confirm their truth in a oath.I must have watched lets say 13-15 of these pleads- and I must admit at one point my mind wandered into considering if I just say that I got married to a cambodian maybe I would get window time and a chance to snatch back my passport with a stretch move like the guy from the fantastic four.yeah- just yeah-So as my mind wandered I could only listen- or ease-drop –and boy oh boy were there some characters walking to good ole window number 6– some way more normal then others but all with the seemingly calm face after they have sworn their oath transformed into a fake calm face with the response of the person on the other side of the glasses words of “this case will go to investigation.” Now some of them had this fake face down- mostly those whom which had been married 3+ times and hadn’t know their new spouse for more than a year had this face to perfection- It was anticipated-The one that particularly stood out was the comb over guy– that is when he wasn’t wearing his hat he had a comb over of very thinning but yet perfectly blonde hair. This guy was a true character. Skinny white legs with shorter than normal shorts and the top belly that did not at all match his skinny legs. He carried with him a 50 year old brief case that I can’t belief made it out of the 60’s with all the wear and tear. His grease was one of possibly not showering but just maybe the possibility that he was just an over sweater and he hadn’t yet recovered from the wait outside. At this point I had already begun to feel sorry for whom-ever married him- then when I saw her- (she was waiting outside and he was the last one of the 15 so we left at generally the same time) wow she must have been just over 18– yeah felt sorry for her– but she was drop dead gorgeous– The worst part however– and I know how could it et worse- was just his general attitude in the embassy– complaining/ demanding to speak with a higher power/ attitude after every passively aggressive comment that came out of his mouth– boy was it a sight- but then my number was called–I got up stepped to the side walked closely by my entertaining window number 6 took a deep breath in– and it hit me– the odor–onions– no– rotten onions– eh– moldy rotten onions that have been in a dark place possibly the ones that you forgot about next the the cabinet under the sink- wow–I compare this odor to onions only because i believe i felt a tear stream down my face upon the scent hitting my nostril.I sped up to the window which I had been called grabed my passport with new pages and jetted out an alternate route one in which was farthest away from window 6 only to find him lurking behind me. The race was on– I quickly moved through the security gates — and like a poof and 4 hours later the day was behind me with new pages in my passport.–njm

So keeping up the site is something I need to work on.Holidays-We spent Christmas in Thailand mostly on an island called Ko Samet, which is absolutly beautiful. We swam, drank, slept long hours, read, ate large amounts of fresh seafood (myself at-least), and drove around on moto’s. It was as realaxing as it could get. We also got a ton of shopping done in bangkok, NICE!, plus went to a movie theater and saw newly released movies on a bigger screen than our home theater.When we got back home to Phnom Penh the next day Max arrived from Japan. I picked him up from the airport and strapped all of his luggage onto my motorcycle, then he squished on and just like that he experienced Cambodian traffic.So far we’ve been touring Cambodia with Max and thus have not reponded to many emails and phone calls (skype).We were just in Siem Reap visitng Angkor, andin Kampong Som spending more time walking on sand, and now we are finally back home again in Phnom Penh. It’s nice sleeping in your own bed!!! Here are some pictures…

It took us a while to get a scrabble board but we are able to borrow one. This is just meant to keep people back home informed.

This will be kept up to date.
Games played since in Cambodia: 5
W-L
Nik- 3-2
Junlah- 2-3

Total Points:

Nik: 1669
Junlah: 1657

******** Scrabble went online– see our facebook for the latest scores etc.***********

So we get around on a cheap little daelim 120cc motoscooter and we are sharing a little taste of what we see on these rides. Here is the link to view these video’s. As time goes by there should be many to watch. The link is also located under links on this main page. moto rides ENJOY!!!

We live in Cambodia, In Phnom Penh to be more specific. I hope that this site will give friends, family, and anyone else a chance to view cambodia and also hopefully give a peak of what our life here is like. If you have any question you can email me at… Nik